Author: xbzg
We will die: overcoming death anxiety
How do we live our lives knowing we will die? This question lies at the centre of the project of overcoming death anxiety: the often unacknowledged fear that arises from the fact that we will inevitably die. I will explore death anxiety and death acceptance as two possible responses to the existential reality of life…
An existential map: Four dimensions of existence
The Existential Map is a framework for existential therapy by Emmy van Deurzen that helps us live to our fullest expression by gaining mastery over life’s challenges and tribulations. It is made up of four dimensions of existence. Each dimension is “a playground of paradoxes and contradictions” (Deurzen, Arnold-Baker, 2018) where our lives unfold with goals,…
Ego states: Child, Parent, Adult and how to make them work
Ego states are ways of being that emerge within us in different situations. As a concept, they are very much “the heart of transactional analysis” (Sills, Hargaden, 2003), a therapeutic modality that effectively combines psychoanalysis, humanistic philosophy and pragmatism. Ego states can be understood in many ways, and these all can be helpful: Ego estates…
Patience, focus and boredom
in JournalThis month has been a good test: nothing good has happened, I haven’t achieved any of my current priority goals and I still feel deep into my chronic inflammation recovery post-celiac diagnosis. In short, January has sucked a fair amount. This has allowed me to explore three ideas: patience, focus and boredom. My flat is…
We are bodies: ideas from body phenomenology
We are bodies. This is the main argument in the article, which I will make through a series of ideas from phenomenology – an orientation in philosophy interested in the world as it’s experienced. Bodies are “holding fields” (Sills, 2006) of various systems leading to our experience. And our experience of the world is all…
Year Note 2025
This is the first Year Note that I ever write, and I think a good place to start is a bit of context. It had been the previous year when I had decided to study counselling and work towards a career change. At that time, my marketing career was in the ruins after a couple…
Beyond the potato: chaos, choices and co-becoming
The actualising tendency has been pointed as a fundamental feature of humanistic counselling (Sanders, 2002). In this article, I’d like to offer a critique of Rogers’ actualising tendency (aka, “the potato”) in a move towards ideas within the same humanistic paradigm that I argue have more explanatory power and healing potential. The actualising tendency Rogers…
Choices in illness
in HumanisticSometimes we get ill. Getting ill means losing one of the most important things we need – control over our bodies. And when this eludes us, we feel stressed – maybe angry, maybe sad, maybe scared. Illness reveals chaos and contingency as the underlying truth of reality. We never know when we may get ill,…
Boundaries in Gestalt
in GestaltGestalt is an existential-phenomenological model of therapy that places focus on human experience. Boundaries are the different areas in which this experience happens, making it a key concept in Gestalt therapy. In “The emergent self” Peter Philippson gives an overview of three different boundaries. Using these concepts we can evaluate our experiencing at these three…
Goodbye rye, farewell bakewell, ciao bao
It turns out I am celiac. And I find out at 42. I have spent a long time not feeling quite right. Fatigued, bloated. Many of the signs were there and I just wonder how far back they go. It’s bittersweet. A sweet chance to heal and get more energy. Letting go of the idea…
