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The seven stages of the counselling process according to Rogers
It did not appeal to me to review work we have done in the past. I decided rather to devote a year (…) to understand the process by which personality changes (…) but as the next year approached I realised the ideas I had formed were still unclear, tentative, hardly in the shape of a presentation. Nevertheless I…
Carl Rogers, on becoming a person
Curious, honest, interesting, confident and completely himself – Carl Rogers was at his best in 1956 when he decided to consider the process in which personality changes as a result of a therapeutic relationship in which the client is fully received and accepted.
It captures the “quality of expression” which can be observed by others as they walk with them along this slow, frightful journey.
What follows is a detailed documentation of how behaviours, attitudes and personality structure changes dramatically in predictable phases.
Traveling through these phases can be chaotic, disorganised and sabotaged at many milestones. Someone may exhibit the emotional education of stage four whilst retaining a rigid worldview typical in stage two. Regression can be possible and context-dependent.
And yet – sustainable and irreversible change happens at key moments when someone who has seen, can’t unsee.
Stage One: Stuck
Someone on Stage one is stuck: not ready or interested in therapy, not able to communicate properly, nor self-enquire.
There is a strong tendency towards resistance and self-protection, with a very low likelihood of dialogue (as control would have to be relinquished).
There is a deep-seated distrust of others, making open and honest dialogue nearly impossible. The person in this stage will be adept at changing topic, silencing others or leaving the room if concerns are addressed by others. They “can’t change”, or are “too old to change”.
They will fail to recognise their problems or see them only as external issues. They may have scapegoats to resource to.
Feelings are either unrecognised or not owned and pushed away. They are unaware of their emotional states or deny their significance. “Yes, of course I had a depression, the bank took my house away!”
Their worldview is extremely rigid, unchanging and unconsidered outside of itself.
Stage Two: Slow
Someone on Stage two is slow, protective and defensive, however more communicative and curious.
They are ready to talk about things outside of the self. They can recognise feelings experienced in the past as objects and they maintain an overall distance to both themselves and their feelings. “Yeah that wasn’t nice what was done but I don’t live in the past”
There is no sense of personal responsibility for their struggles, and consequently, little to no motivation to address them:
“My problems all relate to the same thing. The economy is terrible and so is my business. If I had more money, then problems go away, they always do. I am sure my wife will cheer up when we can go to a nice restaurant again”.
Personal constructs are viewed as factual and beyond question, bound by past experience: “I am always late, there’s always something I’ll get wrong about it”.
The self is uncommunicative and perceived as a fixed entity. There is a sense of fixity and a reluctance to explore or express one’s true self.
Stage Three: Self-enquiry
Therapy and self-inquiry begin at this stage. Individuals start to engage, even if tentatively and perilously, in the therapeutic process.
There is a slight improvement in communication, though it remains largely external and non-self-referential. Non-self communication begins to flow, however: “I try my best with her, I want her to love me, I want us to do well as a couple”.
The understanding of problems is more precise and nuanced, even if largely externally focused. There is minimal responsibility for these issues.
Feelings are seen as past objects. There is an emerging awareness of past emotional states, but these feelings are often viewed negatively, for example shrouded in shame or guilt: “In the past I have felt guilty for not being there with my children. But what can I do with work as busy as it is. The next two years are just going to be manic but then it will be done”.
Personal constructs remain rigid and factual, but there is the beginning of recognition. Contradictions in these constructs start to become noticeable. The self is still perceived as a fixed object, but there is some curiosity about it. This marks the initial stage of self-exploration.
Experiencing remains bound by past structures, though there is a growing differentiation in feelings, meanings, and constructs.
Stage Four: Discovery
Someone on stage four becomes more actively involved in the therapeutic process.
Individuals take on more agency and responsibility, leading to dramatic feelings and the beginning of life-changing insight.
Communication flows more freely about the self. Past feelings and meanings intensify as trust in the therapeutic relationship develops.
There is still little real motivation to overcome problems, but self-responsibility begins to emerge. Individuals start to recognize their role in their issues. Therefore, the person now questions the validity of their philosophy of life and the purpose of their personal constructs. As they do that, they may become concerned about contradictions within these constructs.
“I spend so much time working in the office. I never imagined I would do that, and the more I think about it, the less sense it makes considering what I was like as a child. Why do I care so much about that promotion?”
Feelings are felt in the present with a mix of surprise and, often fright or distrust. There is an initial acceptance of these feelings, which were previously suppressed or ignored: “I am somewhat worried to follow this feeling to its logical conclusion because I am not sure I am ready to follow through on it”.
Curiosity about the self grows, and the self starts to be seen as a subject rather than a fixed object.
There is an increased differentiation of feelings, constructs, and meanings.
Stage Five: Insight
In this stage, fresh discoveries about personal constructs occur, and contradictions are actively addressed. This leads to the emergence of congruence. As a result the person may start making decisions differently, drawing from more possible options and less concern for outcomes. There is a desire to remain open minded and open to experience.
Individuals show clear ownership of their problems and a genuine concern for their contributions to these issues. This marks a significant shift towards personal responsibility.
Feelings are freely felt from an “organismic” sense. There is a greater acceptance of these feelings, which are less bound by the past and more present-focused. With this comes ownership of feelings, and the person develops a desire “to be” those feelings – “to be me”.
The past’s influence begins to wane, and there is more exactness in language and self-expression. As insight grows, the person keeps developing an interest in themselves.
“I have been observing in me – it’s like a depression, but not really. To others it may seem that way, but I think it’s rather despair at seeing everything I fought for was not even my own. Despair with a touch of absurdist comedy.”
Stage Six: Flow
This stage marks almost irreversible shifts in the individual’s mindset. The mind becomes observant and flows more naturally. The person is consistently – even if not always – able to abstract themselves of a situation and become freer of past impulses and automatic behaviours.
As this happens, a desire to own feelings and be authentic takes over. Expression becomes more open, authentic, and relaxed. This relaxation becomes physical, and sensitivity becomes heigthned as a result. There is more appreciation of life in the moment.
Problems are not seen as problems, as the person now develops a deep trust in themselves and their feelings. They are happy to deal with things as they arise and through a compassionate lens, combined with increased responsibility for their lives. Individuals no longer see them as impediments but as parts of their ongoing journey.
Fresh discoveries about personal constructs occur, and contradictions are actively addressed. This leads to the emergence of congruence. As a result the person may start making decisions differently, drawing from more possible options and less concern for outcomes. There is a desire to remain open minded and open to experience.
The self as a subject becomes more pronounced. The self as an object starts to disappear, losing its stable structure.
The person is not concerned anymore about “who they are” as an identity to be defined with labels, but rather they understand the self in its changing nature. As such, they gradually throw all structure and limitations without much thought or consideration – it slips away.
Experiencing becomes highly differentiated, with increased exactness in language. There is a quality of process and flow in how individuals engage with their emotions and thoughts. There is a real interest in the feeling, description and understanding of emotions and their context.
Stage Seven: Autonomy
A new dimension of mind nature emerges, characterized by changiness and flow. With this, the person now understands their autonomy, power and the reality of experience.
Communication is unfiltered, exact and clear. There is no concern about being understood, accepted, let alone liked by others whilst of course any unintended reaction will be observed, analysed and if relevant, engaged with.
Feelings are observed in their free flow, reaching their full result. There is full acceptance and trust in the process of changing feelings.
Personal constructs become loosely held and are constantly evaluated and re-evaluated. There is no agenda or need to be listened to, let alone be right.
The self as an object has disappeared, replaced by reflexive awareness. The stable structure of the self is no longer necessary.
The person has now become their experience, on a moment to moment quality.
Experiencing is in flow, marked by immediacy and richness. There is no fixed or predictable structure, allowing for a dynamic and present-focused engagement with life.
Free, clear, and exact communication about feelings continues to dominate. Individuals are completely open and authentic in their expressions.
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